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Mistydawne
I had some friends over for a dinner party last weekend. It was a couple that I had known for several years who came in from New England, "Linda" and "Joe" my neighbor's from across the street "Karen" and "Pete" and their daughter "Jane". Jane is only 15 but she's a little trouble maker and I've had several problems with her, she wasn't even allowed at my house but I okayed it this time because she was grounded and her parents didn't want to leave her at home alone. In the past this girl has lied to me, she stole alcohol from my house, she teased my foster-son because his mother died of cancer, and she broke into my yard while I was away and used my pool (I found out through security cam video) This girl is bad news. Last weekend she took it too far and she destroyed my friendship with her parents.
Here is what happened:
I have a deck in front of my house use it to relax on we have outdoor furniture and a fireplace. Jane was sitting near the fire along with her parents, and my friend Joe. His wife, Linda was helping me in the kitchen. My husband and foster son were on the back deck BBQing. At some point Karen and Pete come inside to help set the table leaving Jane and Joe outside on the deck, alone. About 5 minutes later Joe comes inside and we start talking about how it was still 70F outside where I live (California) and it's raining and cold where he was living. Everything seemed fine until Jane comes in the house, she asks her mother if she could have a sip of her wine and Linda says "that's a no-no in my house, i'm a social worker you know...and i've seen kids kill themselves thinking they could drink." I added "sorry no underage drinking in my house" and Karen than added "you heard the women!" pissed she left the room. Later all the adults were in the dining room (dinner wasn't quite ready) and my fosterson and Jane were sitting in the living room where we have a full bar (it's usually locked but since we had guests over and there is a trap door under the bar into the wine cellar we had it open) My foster son comes into the dinning room and says "umm Jane's getting into the bar" Karen and I come out and Jane is trying to open the liquor cabinet in the bar, and a scene ensued.
Jane now crying, says she just wanted to "drowse" her sorrows because she was "molested by that creepy guy" ( she was trying to get out of being grounded for another 4 weeks) when her parents asked her to explain she said that when they left her out on the deck with joe that he walked up to her and showed her his penis told her "you better suck it and you better not tell" and than shoved himself in her mouth. As you can imagine Joe was freaked out he just keeped saying "never happend, never happend I just asked her how she was doing in school, id never do that." of coarse her parents took her side and were about to call the police when I told them to hold on let's all sit down for a sec before the police are called and talk about this, but no they just screamed at me and said I was enabling a child molester and that I should be ashamed they left and the police were called. Linda and Joe didn't leave my home since the police were coming. While we were waiting for the police my foster-son said "why don't we just review the security cameras like we did when the brat broke into our pool" so I did and the camera showed Joe sitting about 4 feet away from Jane, than it showed Jane talking to Joe, the audio was really hard to understand but this is what we could make out:
Jane: do you like the snow?
Joe: Not as much as when I was a child
Jane: I like the snow
Joe: do you have snow around her?
Jane: not that kind of snow, the kind that goes up your nose (laughing)
<silence for about 30secs>
Joe: how are you doing in school are you a good student?
Jane: <says something but we can't make it out>
Joe : Oh, I see. I better go back inside and sit with the wife
Joe than walks away the opposite direction of Jane at no point did he come close enough to Jane to shake her hand let alone what she was claiming.
The police asked Janes parents to come back over to see the video themselves, they did and they said sorry to all of us (but I don't think I will be talking to them again) They just made excuses for her saying that "She has a learning disability and it causes her to have a low self esteem and act out." when I asked what her learning disability is they said "dyslexia" I think it's something else because there has to be some other cause for her inexcusable behavior.
Sorry I know it's a long one but thanks for the advice.
Answer
Well, that is a long question indeed.
Personally, we all know that nearly everyone has things in their lives that make them difficult, maybe this girl did as well, but as you have mentioned, that is absolutely no way to deal with it.
Dyslexia obviously can not cause a child to have that much anger and problems, maybe OCD, or ADD.
That would be understandable.
But not this.
I highly doubt he "raped" her. From what you have told us, it is obvious that the child is lying.
Isnt it somewhat revolting.. the extents some go for attention?
That just might be it.. she might be doing all of this to get attention, maybe her parents never gave her enough attention as a child, or in other specific circumstances.
She might feel neglected, therefore acting out in such a manner is her way to make up for all of the loss attention she never got.
She most definitely is not good news, but keep in mind, everybody has a breaking point, and this girl still has a heart even though at times, her heart might in fact seem dark/cold.
I pity the fact you and the man who was accused of being raped had to endure this, I hope it is all over for the most part.
For the family, be friendly (as in acquaintance friendly) but not overly welcoming, and inviting. Avoid the child as much as possible and your problems will soon vanish in a mere amount of time.
The best of luck to you!
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am a very good listener, and I can always relate well.
Here is my e-mail : heatherbacile@yahoo.com
Well, that is a long question indeed.
Personally, we all know that nearly everyone has things in their lives that make them difficult, maybe this girl did as well, but as you have mentioned, that is absolutely no way to deal with it.
Dyslexia obviously can not cause a child to have that much anger and problems, maybe OCD, or ADD.
That would be understandable.
But not this.
I highly doubt he "raped" her. From what you have told us, it is obvious that the child is lying.
Isnt it somewhat revolting.. the extents some go for attention?
That just might be it.. she might be doing all of this to get attention, maybe her parents never gave her enough attention as a child, or in other specific circumstances.
She might feel neglected, therefore acting out in such a manner is her way to make up for all of the loss attention she never got.
She most definitely is not good news, but keep in mind, everybody has a breaking point, and this girl still has a heart even though at times, her heart might in fact seem dark/cold.
I pity the fact you and the man who was accused of being raped had to endure this, I hope it is all over for the most part.
For the family, be friendly (as in acquaintance friendly) but not overly welcoming, and inviting. Avoid the child as much as possible and your problems will soon vanish in a mere amount of time.
The best of luck to you!
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am a very good listener, and I can always relate well.
Here is my e-mail : heatherbacile@yahoo.com
Home surveillance system - what's neede? DVR/monitor/camera(s). Where find QUALITY & inexpensive products?
tlc289
I've priced a base system (1 camera with infrared capability / 80G DVR / labor) for $1100 w/ a local security company. It jumps up to $2200 for additional cameras and higher-functioning DVR (160G). Can a regular man install this sort of system?
Any and all information is appreciated.
Answer
Yes, I've installed two different digital video recording systems myself, bought the PCs from the local computer store, bought the PCI cards on-line and bought used CCTV cameras off eBay, bought the wire and connections at a local electronics store. They work like a champ.
The advantage of PCs is that the image is already digitized and I can monitor and review over the internet from another location (securely).
Approximate cost: New PC: $200 (open-box store PC returned by a previous customer, works fine), new PCI card: $29, 4 used CCTV cameras from eBay $80 ($20 each), wire and connections I didn't add it up but may run something less than $100 unless you want really long lines.
You cannot beat the quality and price of used CCTV cameras off eBay, although, like anything else eBay, you have to buy things that work. A few CCTV cameras I bought didn't work. Not knowing anything about cameras, I opened them up anyway and resoldered loose connections and they worked!
My second system has a similar PC except I bought a nicer PCI card for about $250 and have indoor/outdoor IR (night lighted) cameras that cost around $100 each.
They both have been running fine for over a year so far. And I'm not a security or PC expert but have learned a few things along the way.
Yes, I've installed two different digital video recording systems myself, bought the PCs from the local computer store, bought the PCI cards on-line and bought used CCTV cameras off eBay, bought the wire and connections at a local electronics store. They work like a champ.
The advantage of PCs is that the image is already digitized and I can monitor and review over the internet from another location (securely).
Approximate cost: New PC: $200 (open-box store PC returned by a previous customer, works fine), new PCI card: $29, 4 used CCTV cameras from eBay $80 ($20 each), wire and connections I didn't add it up but may run something less than $100 unless you want really long lines.
You cannot beat the quality and price of used CCTV cameras off eBay, although, like anything else eBay, you have to buy things that work. A few CCTV cameras I bought didn't work. Not knowing anything about cameras, I opened them up anyway and resoldered loose connections and they worked!
My second system has a similar PC except I bought a nicer PCI card for about $250 and have indoor/outdoor IR (night lighted) cameras that cost around $100 each.
They both have been running fine for over a year so far. And I'm not a security or PC expert but have learned a few things along the way.
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